For you

I know that it has been a while since the last time I posted something. And I know as well that you have been reading every single post on this site, looking maybe for the latest one and hoping to read something about you and me. Well, here it goes and hope you share the same feelings that I'm about to type in here (I know you do).
I have to start saying that the way how we met was something special. We both were looking for the each other but we didn't expect it to be this great. I wasn't sure about meeting random people and I kept myself save by just answering by emails at the beginning. However, my fears were left behind when I first saw you at the supermarket. Even we both were wearing work clothes, there was something that connected us. And I'm glad it did.
Since that day, I have been letting myself free again, forgetting the past and all the things that made me (and still making me) upset or depressed (you know what I mean). There is something in you that make me feel peaceful, happy, loved. I always told you that I can see through your eyes and see how much love you have to give, how wonderful you are and the kind of man that you are and probably just a few know about.
Now, almost 9 months of being together I have no doubts of the feelings that I have for you. I have no doubt of how important you are in my life and how great it is to spend every minute with you. But, there is something that makes me sad sometimes and scares me so very much. Sometimes I feel scared of loving you more and more everyday because we both know what could happen if things don't work out the way I expect. And that hurts. It hurts so much just to imagine us separated, away of the each other. I don't want it to happen, never. I want you to be part of my life forever, to keep growing up with you, to reach goals and look up to a future full of happiness. I don't want to leave you.

In the last two weeks, we have been closer than ever. I love to wake up with you, to look at your eyes and hear that you love me, to smile and laugh with you and even to cry together when things go wrong. I love to see you dancing, because I know you feel happy and secure about yourself and about the love I feel for you. I told you before that no matter how you look like or no matter how upset can I be sometimes, I will always love you and care about you.

I can only say that I'm not drowned in loneliness anymore, I fall asleep thinking about you and can't wait to wake up to see you. I wish I could stop the time and be with you, in your arms, looking at your beautiful blue eyes which calm me down and make me feel save. I love you baby and can't imagine my days without you.

Coindence?

I worked the whole tuesday. But I woke up with a very positive feeling about "M" and his condition. I sent a text to his mobile, expecting an answer from his friend and so I did. The text said "M" was leaving the hospital today. He had some internal bleeding and has some pretty big bruises but that's all. He is stable and good. What a great news. I felt more confortable and happy to hear that. I definitively kept thinking about him the rest of the day and planning a day at Brisbane if he's feeling better in the next couple of days (easter weekend). Anyway, I guess I'm thinking too much. I should first wait for his call or text. Anyway, I was having a pretty nice day, of course I'm always talking as much as I can to people to don't get bored. I make fun with them and complaint with them about the store lol -I work there but I'm not part of it- hehe

As I said, my day was ok until the las 10 minutes of my shift. I was looking around because I had no costumers, playing with the computer, eftos until I saw him coming. Who? My ex. What a luck! My first reactio was pretending to don't see him, but of course he saw me. A few costumers came to me with just a few stuff to check out and I was more than determinated to shut down before he came to any cashier. But, I guess it wasn't my night. He came straight to me, left his basket on the belt and wait until the last costumer was gone. Then said hi and gave me the stupid smile that he has always had. The kind of smile that is not transparent or honest. I don't even know how to describe it because you can't actually see through it.

Anyway, I scanned the stuff as fast as I could, while he was telling some pointless stuff about him as I would care. I have to tell you that I haven't spoken to him in ages, probably 2 months or more and didn't even wish him a happy birthday the last weekend. I just don't want any contact with him. I'm very dissapointed and I don't think I deserve to be around with this kind of guys. I just can't stand it anymore.

Well, I didn't really care what he said so I can't actually tell you what the conversation was about. The only think I remember was the last thing he said: Call me if you wanna catch up. What? Haven't been obvious enough to don't talk to you all this time? Don't you get it? do you? do you really think I'm gonna take my mobile and give you a call? Do you think I really want to spend the small amount of time that I have free with you? What for? All is been said. There's no point to even talk or keep in touch because all what have you done has proved me who you really are.

The only thing I said was: Right, here's your change. Bye. And turned back to the computer. Fortunately, the last costumer came back (a cute guy) looking for a Ezy Card that he dropped. I picked up and said something funny to him, he did the same and walked away. That was my only resource to don't give attention to the other one while he was taking his bags.

I don't know if it was a coincidence or just shit happening. I was thinking the whole day about "M" and he leaving the hospital. The last thing I've been thinking about all this time is catching up with my ex or even think about him. But, as I've said lots of times...shit happens...and we have to learn how to deal with it lol bugg'a!

Dating issues

It looks like I haven't posted in ages. It is a fact actually. I must apologize to all my fans...what fans? lol does anyone read my blog? Anyway...whatever I do...I do it for myself.
I must admit that I've been trying the online dating website called RSVP. The most popular dating site here in Australia. It is pretty fun at the begining getting all those kisses from single men of all ages. However, I've been very careful and selected very well the guys I was talking to.
I've had 3 real dates so far of around 10 guys that I've made contact with. Two of those guys didn't really know what they wanted and I didn't feel like keeping them as friends (either they did) so we lost contact. The other one, an older man, father of two, farmer, business owner and living in North South Wales, still a good friend of mine. We don't catch up often because of the distance, but we keep in touch by msn.

In the other hand, I've experimented the craziest, random and scariest stories ever. I think I should start telling you about the random ones. I made contact with this guy "G" around christmas. We spoke a lot, chatted and texted quite daily. He is a very interesting kind of guy, tough but with a warm heart. Very cheecky I must say. All was going alright until he started to send me naked pictures. Somehow, I didn't think it was that bad cuz those pictures only showed his chest and arms, but soon, his whole body and some pictures had explicit genital content lol (I'm selecting my words very well). Then I thought it was enough, so stopped talking to him. I didn't know about him in ages until a couple of weeks ago. Actually, until I started Univ again. I knew he was studying education as well but how many different programs are? Lots. But, in the first day, in my first lecture...he came into the theatre and I was more than shocked lol.
We're having 2 lectures together, which is ok because we are around 100 students in the same theatre at the same time, so its easy just to seat away :) However, there's more. Each course lecture has a tutorial. Each tutorial has around 20 students. And yes...I'm taking a tutorial with him. How random is that?? 100% if not more. And yeah, "G" knows its me as well because and thanks to the tutorial teacher, we all had to introduce ourselves to the class. What a great idea. As soon as words came out of my mouth -with this strange accent that I have, which doesn't really sound like other latin people's accent lol I can say its unique- "G" turned back, looked at me and smiled. I smiled back lol just to show I have nothing to worry about if you know what I'm saying. But as a good chicken ....I left the classroon as soon as the tutorial was finnished hehe Run Forrest Run! and so I did run. For now, we've only exchanged greetings, but because "G" seems to be very fresh and confident of himself, I'm expecting a conversation from him.

My second and scariest story is pretty new. Everything happened in the last 3 weeks. I remember this guy, "M", contacted me before on this website but I replayed wishing him luck on his search because our profiles didn't match haha. But, "M" tried again and this time I answered yes, so he sent me an email telling a bit more about himself. I'm very attracted to the kind of man he seems to be. There's something different and fascinating in him that makes me smile. We spend hours and hours, 4, 5 hours talking on the phone (of course he is the one who calls hehe)
One thing I have to be honest about is the fact that for a long time, I was looking for the perfect guy, the cute guy, the whole package. Some of you always have coments about how hot or ugly the guy I was involved with was. But, let me tell you that I have realized that beauty is not only something physical. I'm more attracted now to intelligence and determination rather than a hot body or pretty face. I'm not looking for fun anymore. Of course I have fun sometimes and of course I turn back when I pass a hot guy. But in terms of relationships, I'm not longer looking for superficial things.
Anyway, "M" is not bad looking lol he's fit (as a SWAT member) and so far, is the only guy who keeps me interested and focused on a conversation for 5 hours on the phone.
Well, a week and a half ago, we decided to meet. We were gonna go for dinner, but because of his work and how busy he was, he canceled. I didn't get upset or furious. I'm pretty tolerant and I believe that sometimes, work demands extra time -which happens to me with univ- Well, the next days we kept chatting as usual and decided to meet (this was the second try). We were going for dinner. He was very keen and excited to meet me. I didn't want to blow my expectations up just in case of dissapointment. But that day, saturday, he had to pick up his sister from Brisbane Airport and the flight was delayed 4 hours. He waited for hours, got impatient, angry and ansious because he was running out of time.
I waited for him to call me, but he never did. The next morning -sunday- he explained to me that because of the rush, he forgot his mobile at the counter of the airline. Yes...very stupid from him. He was crossed at himself and apologizing like anyone has done at me before. So, last chance to meet up. Time: 6pm. Place: Australia Fair. Destination: Thai Restaurant at Surfers Paradise. I was on time and waited, waited, and waited for around 2 hours. He never showed up. I texted him, called him but not answer from his mobile. I called to his house but he wasn't there. I had a strange feeling anyway. Something was wrong. I went back home a bit dissapointed, upset but very patient. 30mins after I arrived home, I got a text from his mobile but it was his friend texting. The message said: "This is to everyone. Its "M"s phone. He was involved in a serious car accident tonight on the way to the Gold Coast (where I live, he lives almost in Brisbane) He has been airlifted to Brisbane and has been taken to Intensive Care". I was completed in shock. Somehow, I was feeling guilty. He was coming to see me, very ansious, excited, keen for meeting me and don't piss me off again. I texted back saying: We were supposed to meet tonight, we were going for dinner? Is he ok?
While waiting for an answer, I checked every single news website from Gold Coast, Brisbane and Queensland. No accidents reported. Dagi came 15mins after I called her to stay and cheer me up. An hour later the friend texted me again: "M" is ok. He has no broken bones. A kid crossed the street and for avoiding her, he crushed head on a truck. He still in intensive care but is alright. But we are very concerned because he might have brain damage. The ambulance men told us and the doctors that he was yelling the whole way: no no...let me go, I have to get some thai food with her...I can't do this to her again. Does it make any sense to you?
Of course it does. I answered saying yes, we were supposed to have thai food and this date was very very very important for him because of 2 previous cancellations. He has no brain damage man ...He is more than concious lol

The guy said to me to don't worry to much, to have a rest and wait for some news in the morning (today). I woke up thinking, breathing, speaking about him. When I was on the bus in the way to univ, I got a new text saying that he might be going home on wednesday or thursday. He is ok, still drugged out but fine. That text was sent to all his contacts once again. But I got a personal one saying: You are the latin woman he is talking about so much. He is pretty keen to talk to you.

Now, tell me...doesn't it is the scariest, sweetest, weirdest, funniest and tragic story you have ever heard? does it? Does he has a gray cloud on him or what? I don't think there could be a better story than this one...at least in my life.
Thanks ''god'' he is ok. I'd have blamed myself for the rest of my life if something bad would happened to him. Its such a scary feel that I don't recommend...for sure. But who knows what's going to happen between us. As Dagi said: Hopefully you'll like the each other and the accident will worth it lol

Graduation!

Did it!! Finally! Call me master Claudia now hehe

Halloween in Gold Coast

Alright. The last year, I didn't do anything for Halloween and actually, I wasn't gonna do much this year. It's not really a big thing in Australia cuz you know, halloween is an american thing and this country is more english than anything. But, I knew about the Monsters Blash Party even since before I got the invitation. It was a secret that Dagi told me one of the days of the edition. Anyway, I was really excited about this party. Dunno why but I was. Probably just the fact of being single again and hanging around with friends changed my mood in last 2 months. I'm still working on it, it's not that easy after 9 months of a beautiful relationship.

Well, I was staying at Gina's place already (in Southport). She and Javier were gonna arrive very late to the party, about 1 or 2 am. So I went to Dagi's house and got ready there. We were taking sparkling wine to warm up. We took 2 bottles also with Julia. I was more than normal. It didn't affected me at all. But I guess it was the beginning of a merry night for Dagi. we got ready. I really liked my outfit. It wasn't very very good. Just all black with red devil accesories. We left the place by 10.30pm. Dagi was desperated for going to Eddy's place. By the way, Eddy and Dagi kissed the night before...they both were drunk and yeah, she's having a crush on him...a strong one).

So, we went for some beers first. Ged drove us to the bottle shop in Cavill Ave (just 2 or 3 blocks away of Eddy's place - Cavill is the main street in Gold Coast, its where Melbas (pub) and some others are at). We got one six pack of beers each one, Julia got a bottle of white wine. We were waiting for Ged to pick us up outside of the bottle shop, when 4 guys came our way and started to make fun of our costumes, of course in a good way. Somehow, I turned back to look for Dagi and she was hugging one of the guys and screaming Happy B-day! cuz it was his b-day lol
Then Ged came and we went straight to the party. It was full! The guys put some decoration in the house. A "keep left" traffic sign, ghosts hanging, a big pumpkin on the wall, etc. We started drinking as soon as we got there (of course). It was crazy, ghostbusters, pirates, devils, canadians (southpart eggs) lol bunnies, my space girl, batman and more. We were in the back yard talking between us four. We really didn't know most of the people.

In one moment, a guy sitted on a chair and wearing a cowboy hat said to me: so, what are you suppose to be? a devil? and I answered: I can be whatever the hell you want lol And he asked me to seat with him and have a chat, which I didn't really mind to do. We were talking about where I was from, where he was from, tourism, trips, zzzzzzzzzzzz kinda boring but good enough to get to know someone in a party. Then, we met Bruno and his girlfriend Afaela and Enzo and Eddy joined us from time to time.

But, one of the ghostbusters shot his gun full of wine and Afaela got all wet on her back. Julia and Me were talking with Dennis (the dannish guy I was talking with earlier) and we also got wet on our faces! lol Face shot!!! lol It wasn't funny. I don't even know how it happened but I went straight to the bathroom to wash my face. Thanks god I don't use makeup!! When I came back from the bathroom, I started to look for Dagi and couldn't find her. I remembered she was very drunk, drunk drunk drunk and pissed off because of Eddy's behaviour (he ignored her the whole night....which wasn't nice for her after the kiss the night before). So, I said to myself: Shit! I looked everywhere for her. I was worried. I went to the street, to Eddy's room, to the left part of the house, to the garage, everywhere!!! I asked everybody about her, but noone saw her. It was around 12.30am. Surfers Paradise is not a dangerous place but just to think about her upset and drunk worried me. But, somehow, Enzo oppened Eddy's room and went in. I checked that room before from the outside hehe and couldn't find her. Then Eddy and another guy went in also and said: Here she is! I was soooo releved but guess what...she was dead. I told the guys to leave the room inmediately, which was soooo funny cuz I actually kicked Eddy out of his own room lol (sorry!!!) Anyway, I tried to wake her up or get an answer from her but was pointless. I went then to Julia and told her about Dagi. I didn't know what to do because Julia wanted to leave the party leaving Dagi, I was waiting for Gina and Javier and didn't want to leave Dagi there because I thought it was too dangerous for her to stay with Eddy specially considering their condition. Of course I didn't think about him taking advantage of her...he is a good guy and friend. I was just affraid because I knew the whole time that the kiss was just a kiss, that he didn't mean it. I don't know why. It was just a feeling. And I knew that she was waiting soooo much from him, things that he wasn't gonna do. That's why I couldn't concive the idea of her staying with him. It was obvious that it was a random kiss and that she is only a friend for him.

I didn't know what to do. I was in the kitchen talking with Enzo when Eddy went into the room. I freaked out because he was very drunk and I didn't want him to try kissing her again. Bloody hell, I sound like a mum :S But it was my first reaction. I was taking care of my friend. So, I followed Eddy to the room and said to him: Eddy I wanna tell you something. And he had a stupid smile on his face looking at Dagi while she was sleeping. I repeated the same thing to him again and he was just laughing which really upseted me. GGRRRR!!! I said to him from the door: Please, don't be an asshole again. And he said: huh? what you talking about? I don't know what you mean. I said: of course you know what I mean, just don't be an asshole. And in that right moment, he was coming to me probably to get out of the room...but I shutted the door on his face lol I was sooo upset. I ran away lol. Well, not really. I went outside to wait for Gina, who was actually in the corner with Javier. While they were coming to the house, I noticed that Dennis was in front of me talking with a girl. I didn't care about him.

A minute after, a girl started to scream in the second floor of the house. I looked up and saw a bunch of guys fighting. WTF! Dennis went in and 15 minutes after, a guy came down with a broken nose and around 4 more guys left the second floor and went back into the apartment in the first floor where the party was almost finnishing.

I started to talk with Dennis about the fight. A guy was insulting a girl and her boyfriend came into the room hearing those things....and of course...the fight started. By then Gina and Javier arrived. I went in to bring a beer for myself lol Then Gina went in with Javier to bring a beer and/or check Dagi (both things are true....just don't remember which one was first).

We all were in the street. Dennis was laying on the grass watching the stars :S lol Don't know why, I went once again to check Dagi. I guess we were gonna leave soon. I gave Dagi a kiss and said bye. When I came out of the room to the kitchen, Dennis was just there talking with Enzo and Eddy. The guys left and Dennis came to me talking rubbish. I went then outside to smoke a cigarrette. He had a beer with him. So we were sharing beer and cigarrette lol. This guy was looking and looking at me without saying anything. I was waiting for him to kiss me. It was obvious!!!! So he finally did it cuz I made a small and smart move lol (girls tactics....I'll keep my secret lol)

I noticed a lot of people coming our way. Enzo, Eddy, Javier, Gina, etc. I even remember Eddy passing next to us saying: oh excuse meeeee and kinda pushing us and picking up something from the floor. That's when he pulled my tights by my left foot lol I was like WTF!!!???? Anyway, we kept kissing until this guy asked me to jump the fence with him loool It was hilarious! The building next to the house has a carpark in the first floor. It was more than obvious what this guy wanted to do. Of course I said no way. I'm good after all and besides...I was wearing a skirt lol I couldn't jump the fence with the skirt haha.
Anyway, I heard Gina yelling at me saying that they were gonna leave in 5 mins. So I gave him a last kiss and went where all the people was. And yeah, we left.

We took the bus. It was 3am maybe. I was drunk :) We stopped one stop before lol So we had to walk around 100 metres to Gina's place. In the way, we were talking and talking. You know, all the gossips! Well, not really gossips cuz they saw everything about what I did and they also saw Dagi passed out on the bed. And that's it. After all, it was a good party. I had fun lol

The bag of money

The Crew

Back into it *-*

I had a very busy week but my weekend was great! I spent the first days shooting “The bag of money” for digital video 2. The shooting was good, we had so much fun together. The guys are just so funny, specially the Brazilians (Bruno and Stefano).
We shot at Eddy’s place, had a barbecue on Tuesday night and finished exhausted. The next to days were busy also. I was finishing the Pitch and working on my feature article. Friday morning was also time for shooting, this time at univ. with Chris and Enzo. It was very good. Some things put me in a bad mood but all was good.

Well, I went to surfers on saturday night. Dagi was waiting for me by Cavill Ave. We went first to the Irish Pub and had a few beers. I just loved to chat with her. We talked about everyting!!! I’m not gonna tell what we talked about (I promised to don’t say anything!) but I’m so happy about being her friend. Actually, in this last month, I could feel everybody’s love and care for me. It is amazing. Not only because I’m funny and good. I’m sure they all love me for who I am.

We meet a crazy guy wearing a pink stretch top in the pub. He thought he was sooo hot that was looking for a pen to give us his autograph in our boobs lol Of course we didn’t let him. He was just messing around. But his friend was actually nice. He stopped by and say hi, asked where our exotic accents come from hehe We talked a bit and then he left. I guess the guy in pink was having a bachelor party. Strange! You can only see this things in Gold Coast.

Dagi and I had a kebab afterward. It was also sooo funny. When we were buying our felafel kebab, the guy said to me: are you virgin? Hahahaha What do you care mate??!! Then he said: oh no sorry, aren’t you from Virgin Islands? We started to laugh. I almost pee myself. He said to me that he always see me in the bus from Robina and that he thought I was from that island….wierd. Do I look virgin?!! Lol

After the falafel (in the beach) we went to Eddy’s around 10pm. We bought some beers and spent around one hour at his place. He wasn’t doing much so was a good idea to pop in. Then, we went to Melbas. And yeah! we had so much fun together. I danced a lot and not necessary looking for a guy. Actually, we were just by ourselves but somehow, we were dancing with five guys around us. It was sooo funny. One of the guys thought I was dancing with him, but hell no I wasn't. I actually didn't care about this guy at all because I was just having fun by myself. But those guys didn't go away until we went to buy our next drink. We went for a smoke -yes, we left our drinks cuz it's forbidden to go out with your glass-. When we finnished, we went back to the same spot and kept dancing but guess what!? the guys came to us again bloody hell! Didn't they get it? Anyway, Dagi got very excited with the music hahah it was fun. We were making our own coreography haha and one of the guys was following us with the steps. We were actually making fun of him but he thought we were just dancing crazy hahaha. I guess he liked it. Poor fella. Hahaha so we stayed until around 3am and then I went back home. I shared the taxi with 6 other guys lol (2 girls 4 guys) it was sooo funny!! Oh my god! I haven't had so much fun in a long time.
I went straight to bed. I was exhausted! Let's do it again!!

Lovin' Bob

How many roads must a man walk down
Before you call him a man?
Yes, 'n' how many seas must a white dove sail
Before she sleeps in the sand?
Yes, 'n' how many times must the cannon balls fly
Before they're forever banned?
The answer, my friend, is blowin' in the wind,
The answer is blowin' in the wind.

How many times must a man look up
Before he can see the sky?
Yes, 'n' how many ears must one man have
Before he can hear people cry?
Yes, 'n' how many deaths will it take till he knows
That too many people have died?
The answer, my friend, is blowin' in the wind,
The answer is blowin' in the wind.

How many years can a mountain exist
Before it's washed to the sea?
Yes, 'n' how many years can some people exist
Before they're allowed to be free?
Yes, 'n' how many times can a man turn his head,
Pretending he just doesn't see?
The answer, my friend, is blowin' in the wind,
The answer is blowin' in the wind.